week 4 | izaya (post-trial)

[shinssin]

Is Monika gonna make it?

[ He knows she isn't. He's just asking because he cares.

He has so little to give, now. ]

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[voyeur]

[Hands in his pockets, casual. Very casual, for someone who knows what he's doing later.]

She believes that the best way to bring back the dead is from that side. It's alright. She won't be alone.

[shinssin]

You're joining her.

[ Because he's sure as hell Izaya doesn't mean Caren, and Jacopo would probably call her an idiot. Which Assassin thinks she is, but his conscience won't let him say it. ]

[voyeur]

She's my cute partner. I have to stay with her until the end.

[Wings flare out behind him. Like bat wings, strange and skeletal.]

After all, isn't it the responsibility of a Reaper to help escort the dying to the other side?

[shinssin]

... Haha. Hahahahahaha.

[ It is empty and hollow like where the hope Izaya had placed in him used to be. Lies upon lies upon lies. Didn't Assassin say Izaya couldn't afford to lie? Yet the tightening of his fist is all he has for the Reaper before him. ]

You're gonna leave me all alone here? You fucking bastard.

[voyeur]

Sorry! But my loyalties go to Monika first. Not that I'm exactly a loyal person.

[He smiles at Assassin. And it's a warm, welcoming smile.]

It's funny, though. Because if I had been telling the truth, I could never have loved you or Monika. That's why I'm grateful that I chose to become a Reaper. I would have been missing out so much if I couldn't love you two.

And Mary too, of course! She's also an existence I would have discounted back then. Now, I can see and love the humanity in you all.

[shinssin]

[ Love? Love?

... No, he's still got it. The gloves taut around his hand were meant for this.

Gathering all his anger, fears and frustrations, he draws in a breath and strikes at Izaya's chest with the force of his palm. ]

[voyeur]

[It's the punch Izaya deserves. He gets knocked back, hard. Being Izaya, of course, he's able to nail the landing.

Being Izaya, of course, he's still smiling.]

Yes! Yes, that's the humanity that I love, too. If you love me, hate me, or feel indifference towards me: that's all your human feeling. I can't ever stop loving it!

[shinssin]

[ He seethes, body still slack from the punch. Just one punch, and he is already so tired. Is this what it's like to be human again?

Oh, but that was so satisfying. ]

Haha... What's the point of this game, you damn Reaper?

[voyeur]

The Composer said it's to help the players grow and change. Ah, I say 'said,' but that person was rather insistent that I ask all the question. It was a sort of 'leading someone by the nose' situation.

Moreover, the Composer said that it was because growing and changing, or rather, 'elevating the soul,' elevates the world on the return of those souls to that world.

Yet, this game is unusual. Aside from its length and the presence of Reapers among the Players, as well as Max's role as Host.... So far as I'm aware, there's never been a game that took Players from multiple universes. So its purpose must be larger than that.

1/2

[shinssin]

I'm not interested in ideals or greater purposes.

[ His first master was. Look where that got him. ]

Maybe if I was an Archer— Haha. [ But that's not why he's a Heroic Spirit, is it? The absurdity of it all. ] Maybe if I was an Archer clad in red, or a Saber clad in blue! Then maybe I'd give a damn and be the Heroic Spirit this god-forsaken Game needs! An inspiration, a shining beacon of hope, some damn Counter Force— It's too bad they only got the Heroic Spirit they deserved!

[shinssin]

Oh... but I guess this Game didn't need a Hero now, did it? The nature of a Servant can't change. So was I doomed from the beginning?

[ How can he end bring himself to finish his story when the ending is so clear? ]

[voyeur]

Of course you weren't. Ah, but if you want to think like that to make it easier on yourself, that's fine.

[shinssin]

Haha.

[He'd always been making excuses, hadn't he? That's in his nature too.]

But why now, Izaya? I thought self-preservation was your top priority.

[voyeur]

I'm not that interested in explaining myself. However, I'll say this much: self-preservation sometimes requires a spin on the roulette wheel. So for that if nothing else, I'll let Monika gamble my life alongside hers.

[shinssin]

That's an awfully roundabout way of saying you love her.

[voyeur]

Then let me say it directly: I love Monika. She's a person, after all.

[shinssin]

Hahahaha.

No more surprises after this, I hope?